I Kill You. I Kill You Dead.

Now normally, I'm a very mellow person. Fruit ripen in my hands. Baby rabbits think I'm their mother. Coconuts fall off trees at my approach, even when they aren't coconut trees.

So what I say next will be surprising. I want to say, what's up with all you drivers who can't slow down before a turn and must make ME slow down to a stop, then overtake?

You mad fuckers. I'm giving you a choice here. YOu can either spend an extra 5 more seconds waiting for me to pass the turn, or drive through and kill me on the spot.

And if I don't die, I'll fucking reach through the cracked windshield and press your eyes out with my bloody thumbs while defecating on your dashboard.

Which will it be?

Fuckers.


I MAY have had just a little too much coffee.