Have You Scraped Your Tongue Today?

Don't do it. It's gross and it's wrong.

So anyway I cabbed down to the LBS (Local Bike Shop) after work yesterday and bought a new chain.

At first I was thinking of getting my bike down so that I could get the Man to install the chain.

I have a chain breaker but no idea how to use it.



The Man said, it's easy. Try it. Grow some balls for a change.

So I did. As it turns out, chain-breakers are easy to use.

As a bonus, I broke the chain at the wrong link to get it down to the right length (just match the old chain length), and promptly gave myself a brand new steel splinter in my forefinger.

Damn, that fucker HURT. So not cool. But for a while I knew how Wolverine must feel to have adamantium in his body. No wonder he's so grouchy.

So now that I am a certified bike mechanic, what are the advancement prospects?

As soon as I can bang a derailleur cogs and chain rings out of sheet metal, TIG-weld my own tube frame, I can apply for Master Bike Mechanic status.

I'll be able to diss customers (and they'll have to take it), wear baseball caps the wrong way round, and grow myself a manly stubble that's more than a goatie and just shy of a yak.

Then it's on to machining my own bearings and casting my own spokes to achieve Bike Mechanic God status.

Mortals will fear me. Bikes tremble in fear at my approach. I can pee from my bike without first getting off.

Muaha. Muahaha. MUAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!!

Sorry.

In other news, I took off my mirror. It does add something to the weight. I feel lighter but that could be the hangover talking.

The new chain is tighter and shifting is noticeably more decisive.

I want a new wheelset.

Formula Xero Element Mtn XSM-1

Imagine that on this:



Now hold that thought.