Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I Am Sorry For Your Loss.

Still no bike alarm.


"Monday, July 10, 2006 9:11 PM

Hi Mr Special,



Thank you for your order. The alarm will be despatched to you today. Delivery takes between 5-7 working days.



Kind regards

Administration Team

Email: admin@ducharmealarmsystems.com

Web: www.ducharmealarmsystems.com"


Today is the 7th working day.

No one tried to run me over today. People smiled and waved. Drivers blew me kisses adoringly through their windshields and pedestrians tried to give me money as I cycled past.

Traffic lights turned green before I had time to apply the brakes. Buses careened into the next lane to give me a wide berth and motorcyclists tried to give me high fives as they passed me by.

The traffic police got wind of my award-winning commute and showed up with a 6-strong motorcade escort, and as I arrived at my office building, I was dazzled by the glare of flashing cameras, deafened by the roar of cooing spectators and immensely turned on by a bunch of sexy cheerleaders.

In other words, today, I feel like 12 different kinds of shit. Bonus: locked myself out of the house today, leaving my keys and ipod behind.

Thank you, Murphy. You and your law have been kind to me. I enjoy your company too.

What do I have to look forward to?



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