I'm talking about BMW drivers, and Mercedes Benz drivers.
Yesterday, one of them tried to cream me. This was along Ulu Pandan road.
It is broad daylight.
My bike and I cannot possibly be more obvious.
There I was spinning merrily along, this BMW is trying to turn in from the opposite side of the road.
Does he see me?
Yes.
Should he have given way?
Yes.
Does he think it's worth testing to see if I'm a spirit, this being the 7th month and all?
Yes.
So this BLOODY FUCKING IDIOT steps on the gas and I'm headed for a Volkswagen-BMW Dagwood sandwich, with Mr Special as the stuffing of the day. (note: that is cheese with ham. I am always cheese with ham. Love ham. Loves it.)
On go the V-brakes, which being marvellously grippy (new Kool-stop pads & fresh new rims + too little modulation from the bike mechanic) makes me do a nose wheelie.
The BMW driver waves sorry as he passes through.
I mouth 'fucker' back at him, making sure the other drivers waiting to pass through the same turn take note of what could happen to them.
Part II:Stupid pinch flats.
It's ALWAYS the BMW and the Mercedes drivers.
My friend says they pay through their nose for their atas cars, so they have to behave like Kings and Queens.
Stupid x-tra lite tubes.
It's only been 2 days, but I already have a pinch flat.
Never had a pinch flat before on my old wheels and ah pek tires.
Methinks I should have gone for 2.2 rear tires instead of 1.9.
But I ran 1.95 ah pek rear tires with no problem.
As it is, I felt the tires were overinflated. And yet... pinch flat.
Luckily I had already arrived at the office by then. I dare not think what will happen in the hills this weekend.
Anyway, combined installation of my beautiful rear dee and replaced tube. And got a schrader/presta adaptor so I can pump up my tires at any old petrol kiosk. And got it to fit into my toolkit:
My new beautiful XTR rear-dee.
If this was porn, you would all be heading to the bathroom right now.
Every Sperm Is Sacred Lyrics
Artist: Monty Python
Album: The Meaning Of Life
DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,
Because
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
(EVERYBODY!!!)
GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.
MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.
PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!
CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!
NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.
EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!
Have fun.
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