Back.

So.


You probably have me on MSN.

If you read my last post, you probably think you aren't the last persons I targetted my last post at.

Or, maybe not. You just have my blogspot address which I'm telecasting for just one day.

Guess I can't ask you who are you.

Not yet.

Leaving Las Vegas

I know who reads my blog and who doesn't.

For those who read it and know me in real life ...

Why do you still care? Is my private hell so enjoyable? You spend plenty of time ignoring me when I'm around.

I'm glad to make your day, every day. Some one is feeling shittier than you are, and for you, that must be a revelation on par with Moses parting the bloody Red Sea.

So. Happy Children's Day.

To everyone else, if you want to truly impress me, quote me something that's written by Joseph Heller, author of 'Catch-22', who also wrote that 'When I grow up, I want to be a little boy.", and prove that you understood his novel and everthing he stands for. Coz if you read it and you don't get me, you think with your asshole instead of your guts or head or heart. And good bye to you, because you are a fuckwit I can do without.



Fucker knew what he was writing.

Life's like that.

The book is available from the National Library of Singapore, and I lent my only copy to the Mauritian Mayvin, who fucking never returned it. Asshole. If ever you read my blog, Mayvin, you owe me. Big time.

I have exactly 1.1k to drink myself into oblivion, or at least, die trying.

I hate every one of you out there. So why do you keep reading?

Do you have some kind of death wish?

Like me?

Top 10 Tips for Enhancing That Lovin' Feeling

Top 10 Tips For Enhancing That Lovin' Feeling Between Men and Their Bikes
from Robin McClure (paraphrased. but of course).


Your Guide to Bike Care.

Just like with any relationship, building a positive relationship between bike and owner is one that requires work and effort to make it strong and successful.

Bike ownership is a tough job, and maintaining close relationships and open communications helps to ensure bikes and their owners stay connected through all ages of their upbringing. Here are 10 simple tips for enhancing the bond between bikes and owner.

1) Say I Love You
Tell your bike you love him every day -- no matter his age. Even on trying days or after a bike-owner disagreement, when you don't exactly "like your bike" at that moment, it is more important than ever to express your love. A simple "I love you" goes a long way toward developing and then strengthening a relationship.

2) Teach Your Faith
Teach your bike about your faith and beliefs. Tell him what you believe and why. Allow time for your bike to ask questions and answer them honestly. Reinforce those teachings often.

3) Establish A Special Name Or Code Word
Create a special name for your bike (mine is 'Stang) that is positive and special or a secret code word that you can use between each other. Use the name as a simple reinforcement of your love. The code word can be established to have special meaning between your bike and you that only you two understand. This code word can even be used to extract a bike from an uncomfortable situation (such as a sleepover that is not going well) without causing undue embarrassment to the bike.

4) Develop And Maintain A Special Bedtime Ritual
For younger bikes, reading a favorite bedtime book or telling stories is a ritual that will be remembered most likely throughout their life. Older bikes should not be neglected either. Once bikes start reading, have them read a page, chapter, or short book to you. Even most older bikes still enjoy the ritual of being told goodnight in a special way by an owner, even if they don't act like it!

5) Let Your Bike Help You

Owners sometimes inadvertently miss out on opportunities to forge closer relationships by not allowing their bike to help them with various tasks and chores. Unloading groceries after going to the store is a good example of something that bikes of most ages can and should assist with. Choosing which shoes look better with your dress lets a bike know you value her opinion. Of course, if you ask, be prepared to accept and live with the choice made!

6) Play With Your Bike!

The key is to really play with your bike. Play with dolls, ball, make believe, checkers, sing songs, or whatever is fun and interesting. It doesn't matter what you play, just enjoy each other! Let bikes see your silly side. Older bikes enjoy cards, chess, computer games, while younger ones will have fun playing about anything...as long as it involves you!

7) Eat Meals As A Family
You've heard this before, and it really is important! Eating together sets the stage for conversation and sharing. Turn the TV off, and don't rush through a meal. When schedules permit, really talk and enjoy one another. It can become a quality time most remembered by young and old alike.

8) Seek Out One-On-One Opportunities Often
Some owners have special nights or "standing dates" with their bikes to create that one-on-one opportunity. Whether it is a walk around the neighborhood, a special trip to a playground, or just a movie night with just the two of you, it is important to celebrate each bike individually. Although it is more of a challenge the more bikes in a family, it is really achievable! Think creatively and the opportunities created will be ones that you remember in the future.

9) Respect Their Choices
You don't have to like their mismatched shirt and shorts or love how a bike has placed pictures in its room. However, it is important to respect those choices. Bikes reach out for independence at a young age, and owners can help to foster those decision-making skills by being supportive and even looking the other way on occasion. After all, it really is okay if a bike goes to parking lots with a striped green shirt and pink shorts.

10) Make Them A Priority In Your Life
Your bikes need to know that you believe they are a priority in your life. Bikes can observe excessive stress and notice when they feel you are not paying them attention. Sometimes, part of being a owner is not worrying about the small stuff and enjoying your bikes. They grow up so fast, and every day is special. Take advantage of your precious time together while you have it!


:D Do you love your bike? I do.






My dad's flowers, plants, or some other random shit. My bike at my gramps.